Among my customers, whose ex-girlfriend recently broke up with him, asked me the following question:
” I think I still love her, however is this love or just psychological dependence? Lot of times I ask myself if falling in love comes from the wounded self because (for me at least) it feels as if I can’t live without the other person. When I offer love from the heart I don’t expect anything back, but when I fall in love I believe this is a various energy.”
When you fall in love from the injured self– the ego self– you are in love with how the other individual loves you. It is not so much the individual you love, but how he or she enjoys you. The part of you that is “in love” is actually a child or teen who is clingy for love since you are not providing love to yourself or to others.
When you fall in love as a loving adult instead of as a wounded, clingy child or teen, your need for the relationship is absolutely different. As a loving adult, you have actually discovered how to fill yourself with love and specify your own worth. Rather of requiring someone to fill you and make you feel worthwhile and adorable, you already feel worthy and loaded with love. You experience this inner fullness because you have actually discovered how to take complete obligation for your own feelings and requirements, and you have found out to fill yourself with love from a Divine Source. This fullness overflows and you wish to share this love with another person, another caring grownup who is also filled with love. Your desire is to share love rather than to get love.
The type of individual you will choose will be absolutely various when a caring grownup is picking than when your injured self is choosing. Individuals we choose have a comparable level of woundedness and a similar level of psychological health. Undoubtedly, the more you have done your inner work to connect with Divine Love and bring that love within to take caring care of yourself, the more you will be attracted to somebody also does this.
When you select from your injured self, you will select somebody whom you believe desires the job of filling you up. The issue is that the other person might be trying to fill you up in the hopes that you will likewise fill him or her. 2 people who each want to get love rather than share love will ultimately discover themselves really disappointed with each other. They will each blame the other for not enjoying them in the way they wish to be enjoyed. It is typically since one or both partners are not taking obligation for their own sensations and self-regard and are blaming the other for their resulting misery when relationships break up.
If you are so attached to someone that you feel you can’t live without that person, attempt finding out to give to yourself and others what it is you desire from this individual. Your job is to become the individual to yourself that you want the other person to be. You will be able to be “in love” rather than “in need.” You will have the ability to love another individual for who he or she is rather than for what this person can do for you. Instead of needing to get love, you can provide love from the heart for the delight of it and feel completed the offering.
When you fall in love from the wounded self– the ego self– you are in love with how the other person likes you. It is not so much the individual you love, but how he or she loves you. The part of you that is “in love” is really a kid or teen who is clingy for love since you are not providing love to yourself or to others. 2 individuals who each desire to get love rather than share love will ultimately find themselves really disappointed with each other. Instead of requiring to get love, you can offer love from the heart for the happiness of it and feel filled in the offering.