Are you making use of “we” when referring to your relationship? Is your spouse? If so, you’re on the correct track according to psychologists!
People who prevent referring to the relationship jointly with we pronoun are more likely to have a difficult time forming a healthy attachment. Separating the two people and avoiding the collective makes it easier to keep the relationship partners separate.
The research study team from the University of California Riverside evaluated over 1,400 couples spanning 7 studies. They focused on the accessories of each pair and using the “we” pronoun. Their findings? Individuals with an avoidant accessory style, suggesting those who have a hard time to develop intimacy and trust, tend to use “I” and “you” more than “we” and “us.”.
Dr. Will Dunlop, the lead scientist, states, “Anxious and avoidant accessory designs capture specific distinctions in the ways people think, feel, and behave in romantic relationships.”.
” Given that those with higher levels of avoidant accessory were discovered to show lower levels of we-talk when explaining experiences from their romantic lives, considering making use of we words (e.g., us, ours) in the disclosure of previous romantic experiences may use a sign of one’s avoidant tendencies. This is a reasonably unique and indirect way of determining avoidant accessory, as people are typically unaware of the pronouns they use.”.
So next time you’re talking to your significant other, listen for both their language and your choice of pronouns.