It feels like a scene right out of a movie: You and that buddy you’ve constantly been sort of drawn in to (however never wished to pursue out of worry of destroying your relationship) finally hooked up. Now, they’re being awk AF and you have no idea where their head’s at. All you know is that things feel different, and not in such a way that you particularly like. If making love with a buddy made things awkward between the 2 of you, fortunately is your relationship is not instantly doomed. The main thing you and your friend should do is discuss it, no matter how unpleasant it might be.
While you’re probably hoping the awkwardness will fade by itself in time, and you’re tempted to imitate things aren’t strange between you 2, your best bet is to bring it up. “Just be truthful about what took place and how you feel about it,” Kate Moyle, psychosexual and relationship therapist, advises US. “If you are both concealing behind a conversation that isn’t real, then you will both know, and this is more likely to trigger fractures between you.”
Try not to range from the uncomfortable scenario you may be in now that you’ve slept together. Instead, attempt to welcome it, and let it bring you and your pal back to typical. “Lean into the awkwardness,” Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D. and host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast, informs tosayiloveyou.com. “We invest so much time attempting to make ourselves comfortable that we lose on crucial conversations and connections.” Rather of playing it cool, like whatever is exactly the same as it was prior to you had sex, let them know how you’re feeling. They might feel the same method, “and your admission will help to put them at ease,” Dr. Jess mentions. “Whether you have a laugh or a heart-to-heart, you’re much better off speaking about your sensations.”
As long as you go into it understanding and being OKAY with the reality that it could change the dynamic of your friendship a bit, sex with a good friend does not need to be risky. “Some people see sex as a carnal act and others see it as an exceptional experience– it may be spiritual or emotional,” she states. “It can help to discuss it in advance to make sure that your intents line up.” Because various people see sex in various ways, talking about what it means to you before in fact doing it can be crucial when moving forward with a pal or someone you simply satisfied.
Sexologist and sex coach at Velvet Lips, Marla Renee Stewart, MA, recommends asking yourself a few concerns prior to having casual sex with a pal. “What do I find attracting about having sex with this friend? Is this an excellent factor to engage in it? Why or why not?” she tells Elite Daily. “Do I have any personal expectations when I engage with this pal sexually? If I do, what are they? Do I have a specific goal, desire or fantasy that I want to meet with this good friend? And am I going to act on it, despite the effects and/or it being uncomfortable?” Addressing these concerns can make it simpler for you to understand what you want and understand what the effects might be, which Stewart states are essential things to think about before having sex with a pal.
As soon as you’ve gotten over the awkwardness you may feel after the hookup, you can find out if it’s something you both want to continue doing, or if it was simply a one-time thing. “Either method, communication is needed to understand where you stand and talk about the situation,” Stewart says. Interaction is essential, people! So, if you and your friend tossed a horizontal party, and now, things are uncomfortable, speak with them about it. Your friendship can make it through, however only if you’re both on the exact same page about what took place and what it implies progressing.